Whatever Will B, Will B

BLLLLLISSSSSSSSSS
BEYYYYYYYOND BLISS
MY LIFE
IS JUST WHERE IT SHOULD B
BLESSED
BLESSED
BLESSED

Just Daaaance....

WELL
ANOTHER INTERESTING DAY
INTERESTING
BECAUSE
PEOPLE ARE GENERALLY
VERY OBVIOUS
PREDICTABLE
HABITUAL
GODDESS BLESS THEM ALL!
MAKES LIFE EASIER
FOR ME AT LEAST
....
I'M FEELING SAD
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T
REALLY LOVE THEMSELVES
I'VE DONE HURTFUL THINGS TO MYSELF
IN MY 20 + YEARS ON THIS PLANET
BUT
I'M LUCKY TO HAVE THE UNDERSTANDING:
I LOVE MYSELF
AND
I DO IT THE BEST I CAN
I FULFILL MY OWN NEEDS
I FEED MYSELF
CLOTHE MYSELF
WASH MYSELF
WHY WOULD YOU RELY ON SOMEONE ELSE TO FUCK U?
TO GIVE YOURSELF
THAT MUCH JOY AND RELAXATION
SURE
PARTNER SEX IN WHATEVER FORM
IS GRAND
BUT
IT CERTAINLY WON'T BE AWESOME
IF YOU'RE NOT IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOURSELF
A SERIOUS, DEDICATED, OPEN, HONEST RELATIONSHIP
FUCK THE HATERS!
I'M ORGASMING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK
......
SO
I LOVE TO FANTASIZE
ABOUT CORRUPTING PEOPLE
SEXUALLY
LIKE
GOING TO SOME STRICT AMISH VILLAGE
(HAHA I'M LOVING THIS ALREADY..)
FINDING ONE OF THE THOSE
OH SO TALL AND THICK YOUNG MEN
PROBABLY 18
CAUSE I'M JONESING FOR SOME YOUNG BLOOD
OR
RATHER YOUNG...EVERYTHING ELSE
OHHHHHH IT COULD BE SO WONDERFUL
WITH THE RIGHT BOY
THE RIGHT TEMPERAMENT
HELL!
I'D SHOW THAT KID
THE PROSTATE ORGASM OF HIS LIFE
WELL
NOT LIFE
CAUSE I'D WISH HIM MANY WONDEROUS ORGASMS
BUT
I'D LEAVE NO ORIFICE UNEXPLORED
.....
WHY
WHY
WHY
ARE SO MANY GUYS SO PARANOID ABOUT ANAL STUFF?
OK
I SORT OF GET IT
BUT IT SEEMS RIDICULOUS TO ME
THAT WOULD BE
EQUAL
TO ME
ALWAYS GOING FOR THE CLIT
AND
NEVER THE G SPOT
DON'T MEN WANT POWERFUL ORGASMS
STRONG EJACULATIONS
AND
HANDS FREE FUN!?
(ANAL TOYS/MASSAGERS/ETC)
GET OVER YOURSELF SWEETHEART
I'M STUDYING UP
THANKS TO THE SEX SAMURAI
OHHH
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR A PRIVATE CONSULTATION..
ALL IN GOOD TIME
MARK MY WORDS
I'LL MILK HIS PROSTATE YET

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU....

WE
RECEIVE SOMETIMES
IN THIS CRAZY LIFE
MESSAGES
HINTS
BEHIND THE SCENES INFO
ON THE UNIVERSE
AND
ALTHOUGH
IT'S NICE AND GOOD
SOMETIMES
I THINK
IT CREATES PICTURES
IDEAS
GUIDELINES
FOR HOW YOU THINK THE FUTURE
WILL UNFOLD
HOW IT WILL LOOK
HOW IT WILL BE
I TRY HARD
WHEN REMEMBERING PAST READINGS
TO LET GO, A BIT
OF WHAT I'VE HEARD
CAUSE I KNOW IT CAN CHANGE
I KNOW I CAN CHANGE
AND
THERE'S THE DANGER
OF PIGEONHOLING SOMEONE
OF TRYING TO CRAM
THEIR CIRCLE INTO YOUR SQUARE PEG
MAYBE THEY
WHO YOU THOUGHT DEFINITELY WAS
ISN'T THE SOMEONE
THAT PSYCHIC/READER/FRIEND
TALKED ABOUT
AND
THAT'S OK
AND
IT'S NICE TO WANT PEOPLE TO FIT
BUT
IT MAY BE THE MOST UNLIKELY
OR
SIMPLY THE ONE THAT'S LEAST OBVIOUS
THAT FITS
I JUST WANT TO SAY
IT'S NOT ALWAYS 'CUT AND DRY'
AS THEY SAY IN THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY
; )
GOODNESS GODDESS ME
I FEEL LIKE
TIME AND AGAIN
MY FEARS ARE PROVEN RIGHT
UH OH
OF COURSE! HAHA
BUT
ANYWAYS
IT'S TRUE
AND
I GUESS THE ONLY WAY TO END THAT
IS TO LET THE FEARS GO
OK
OK
OK
STARTING HERE
STARTING NOW
.....

4 IN THE MORNING, THE END OF...

THERE IS NOTHING
AT THIS POINT
A SIMPLE
CONSTANT INPUT
ABSORBING
FEEDING
FEELING
LEARNING
FOR THE NEXT PHASE
OF OUTPUT
CREATING
TEACHING
MEDITATING
RELEASING
.......

AND I THINK TO MYSELF...

I
HAVE
A
DAY
DREAM
A
FANTASY
THAT THE SEX SAMURAI
OFFERS ME AN APPRENTICESHIP
TO LEARN ALL HE'S LEARNED
TO REVEAL MY NATURE
TO EMBRACE FURTHER SELF LOVE
IN NYC
AND
I SAY 'YES'
AND
I SAY 'GOODBYE'
AND
I WON'T LOOK BACK WITH REGRET
..........
ART AND SEX ARE NOT TOO DIFFERENT
BOTH AN EXPRESSION
A CREATION
AN EXPULSION
OF ENERGY AND LOVE
ALWAYS BEST WHEN IT'S MOTIVATED BY:
PASSION
HONESTY
VULNERABILITY
AND
BOTH NURTURE THE ARTIST WITH:
SELF REFLECTION
SELF ESTEEM
SELF DISCOVERY
...........
THE MYSTERY
THE REVELATIONS
THE SURPRISE
SOMETIMES I WANNA FUCK SOMEONE
JUST TO SEE THE CHANGE
THE CHANGE WE ALL MAKE
WHEN WE ENGAGE SEXUALLY
WHEN WE'RE TURNED ON
WHEN WE'RE SEDUCING
FOR SOME
IT'S AN EXTREME TWIST
INTO A SEXY BEAST
FOR SOME
THEY WEAR THEIR SEXUAL IDENTITY DAILY
CONSTANTLY PARADING
..................
A DAY OF REFLECTION
OF FANTASIZING THE FUTURE
OF SEXUALIZING ALL PEOPLES
OF TREATING MYSELF TO CARBS
A DAY OF SELF LOVIN
WARM STILL
WITH THE EARLY SPRING
WINDOW OPEN
THE CHILL ON MY ARMS
REMINDS ME
I'M ALIVE
WHEN I AM PRESENT
100% PRESENT
IN THIS WORLD
I BEGIN TO WEEP
CAUSE
IT'S ALL SO BEAUTIFUL
AND
ADMIRABLE
AND
HONEST
THE WORLD
IS ALL THESE THINGS
AND
MY LIFE IS BLESSED
BEYOND BEYOND BEYOND
ALL EXPECTATIONS
FOR I LOVE
I CAN LOVE
I KNOW LOVE
AND
I AM LOVE

I SEE THROUGH YOU, YOU SEE THROUGH ME...

IF U START YOUR SENTENCE WITH:
'DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE SO-AND-SO BUT..'
OR
'I DON'T MEAN SO-AND-SO ANY DISRESPECT BUT..'
OR
'SO-AND-SO IS A GREAT PERSON, SERIOUSLY, BUT...'
IF U START SENTENCES LIKE THIS...
WELL
YOU HAVE NO PLACE IN MY LIFE
CHANGE IS A BREWIN
AND
WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT
ANYMORE
.....................
LEARNING TO ENJOY
BEING THE BIGGER PERSON
FEELS LIKE PREP
FOR WHEN I HAVE TEENAGERS
LOL
DRAINING
DISAPPOINTING
DISTURBING
.......................
FRIDAY
WAS THE BEST DAY
IN A LONG TIME
GOT LOTS DONE IN THE AM
TEACHING
THEN A SMOKE, CHAMPERS AND A BOOGIE
WITH CINDY
LOUNGING IN HER JAMES DEAN PORSCHE
DELICIOUS WOMEN AND FOOD
SO THANKFUL
BEYOND THANKFUL
I AM THANKFUL
.....................
OOOOOOO SEX SAMURAI
YOU ARE ON MY MIND
TAKE ME ON AS YOUR APPRENTICE
I'D PUT MY CAREER ON HOLD FOR YOU
I WANT TO STAR
IN THE 'NEW PORN'
WITH SEX SAMURAI
FOR THE RIGHT PORN
I WOULD DO PORN
I ALWAYS IMAGINE PEOPLE WATCHING
IT'S SUCH A BUZZ
THE VULNERABILITY
THE HONESTY
THE MUTUAL PLEASURE
ALL THAT ENERGY
FOCUSED ON ME
CHANNELING IT
INTO THE EXPERIENCE
THE ASCENSION OF SELF
OOOHHHH
THE LOVE TO BE HAD
THE LOVE TO BE MADE
THE LOVE

SO-OH-OH-OH-OH MUCH BETTER

GRINNING FROM EAR 2 EAR
BECAUSE
I AM
IN TOUCH
WITH THE SEX SAMURAI
AND
OH MY GOODNESS
HE IS DEFINITELY
MY TYPE
QUIRKY LOOKING
SLIM BUT TONED
AND
LOVES THE CUNT
AND
LOVES WOMEN
AND
LOVES SEX
OMG
OMG
OMG
WE'VE GOT A DATE
A HYPOTHETICAL
ONE DAY
WHEN WE'RE IN THE SAME COUNTRY
KIND OF DATE
AND
OH
OH
OH
THAT DAY COULD
NOT
COME FAST ENOUGH
IN THE MEANTIME
PRACTICING
STUDYING
AND
EXPANDING
SO I CAN MATCH
HIS SEXUAL PROWESS
AND
SKILLS
MISS ST. VILLIER DUBBED ME
THE QUEEN OF MASTURBATION
FLATTERED
BUT
I WOULD LIKE TO BE
MORE KNOWN
AS
THE QUEEN OF PLEASURE
IN ALL FORMS
NO DISCRIMINATION HERE
; )

THAT'S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO BEYOND ANNOYED!
ANNOYED
AND
FUCKING FRUSTRATED!
AM
I
EVER
GOING
TO
UNDERSTAND HETERO MALES?
WHAT IS THE BLOCK?
WHY DO I DISTINGUISH
BETWEEN
HETERO/BI/HOMO
I CAN'T HELP IT!
ALL EVIDENCE HAS SHOWN ME
THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
BAH!
'MY NEW ATTITUDE'
RE: ASTROLOGICALLY
HAS APPARENTLY NOT KICKED IN
BUT
I'M FRUSTRATED
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M MAKING MYSELF HEARD
OR
I'M DAMN WELL TRYING MY HARDEST
AND
PEOPLE
MEN
STRAIGHT MEN
AREN'T LISTENING
THEY AREN'T ACKNOWLEDGING MY FEELINGS
ARE THEY REALLY SO SIMPLE?
SHOULD I JUST GIVE THEM UP?
OR
DO STRAIGHT GUYS
ONLY 'GET' THE GIRLS THEY'RE FUCKING
IS THAT IT?
AM I NOT WORTH THE EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT
CAUSE
I'M NOT SERVING PUSSY ON A PLATTER?
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I WAS SO EXCITED
FOR A NIGHT WITH HARRY
FOR A NIGHT WITH ME
AND
NOW I CAN'T EVEN FOCUS
I'M SO MAD
I'M SO FRUSTRATED
I'M SO HURT
I'M HURT
I'M HURT
I'M FEELING LIKE GIVING UP
ON THAT ENTIRE
FRACTION OF THE HUMAN RACE
FUCKING
PROVE
IT
TO
ME
UNIVERSE
BECAUSE
I FEEL LIKE I'VE TAKEN CHANCES
I FEEL LIKE I'VE PAID SOME MASSIVE DUES
AND
I FEEL LIKE I FUCKING DESERVE
A MAN
A MAN
A MAN
FRANKLY
OTHER THAN A FEW TAKEN ONES
HERE AND THERE
THAT 'MEN'
REAL MEN
THEY'RE GONE
THEY'RE EXTINCT
THEIR TIME HAS COME AND GONE
AND
WELL
I GUESS I NEED TO LEARN
TO LIVE WITHOUT THEM
BAHHHHHHHHHH
WHO AM I KIDDING?
I COULDN'T GO THE REST OF MY LIFE
WITHOUT COCK
AND SWEAT
AND MUSCLES....
BUT
IT'S THEIR BODIES I'D MISS
THEIR MINDS
THEIR EMOTIONAL CAPACITY
HA!
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH
PRESENTLY
I'M JADED
I'M A CYNIC
I'M DOUBTFUL
I'M SWITCHING TEAMS
FUCK
THIS
.......
MY DAD MADE ME CRY TODAY
OVER SOMETHING SWEET HE SAID
BUT
I REALIZED
MY DAD TALKS TO ME
THE WAY HE DOES
BECAUSE
I HAVE WHIPPED HIM INTO SHAPE
OVER THE YEARS
I'VE FREAKED OUT
I'VE CRIED
I'VE SCREAMED
TO GET ACROSS
THE EMOTIONAL THINGS
I NEED
TO FEEL LOVED
TO FEEL SECURE
TO FEEL OPEN
IT'S TAKEN
APPROXIMATELY
20 YEARS
TO GET TO AN EMOTIONAL, ADULT PLACE WITH MY DAD
AND
WE'RE CLOSE
BUT
IT TOOK A FUCKLOAD OF TIME
AND
A HELL OF AN EFFORT SOMETIMES
TO GET US WHERE WE ARE TODAY
I HAVE MY DAD
AND
THE ONLY REASON WE LASTED
IS BECAUSE HE BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD
I DOUBT
WE WOULD HAVE LASTED AS A COUPLE
THEY GIVE UP
THEY AREN'T AS STRONG AS WOMEN
THEY.......
GOD
I'M SUCH A MAN-HATER
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
UH OH
UH OH
UH OH
I GUESS
IT'S EASY TO DOUBT A GROUP
THAT
CONSTANTLY DISAPPOINTS
CONSTANTLY HURTS
CONSTANTLY HAS ULTERIOR MOTIVES
DID I MENTION...
I'M WORKING ON A NEW ATTITUDE?
ASTROLOGICALLY....
AND
I HAVE 16 YEARS
TO GET IT RIGHT...
I'M ONLY HUMAN
NOT ONLY
I AM HUMAN
AND
I'M BRINGING AS MUCH JOY AND HURT
TO THE TABLE AS YOU
AND
IN MY SCORPIO-RIFIC OPINION
PROBABLY MORE
LOL
SUCH A JERK
LOL
BUT
IF YOU DON'T ALLOW ME 2 ASK QUESTIONS
IF YOU DON'T ALLOW ME 2 HIDE WHEN I WANT 2
IF YOU DON'T ALLOW ME 2 TAKE TIME 2 WORK THINGS OUT
THEN
WELL
WALK ON
BECAUSE I NEED TIME
BECAUSE I NEED UNDERSTANDING
BECAUSE I NEED YOU 2 SHUT UP
FOR 2 FUCKING SECONDS
AND
LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING
REALLY LISTEN TO ME
AND
ASK SOME QUESTIONS YOURSELF
AND
ALLOW ME TO SHARE WHAT MAY BE BEHIND MY FEARS
AND
ALLOW ME TO BE ME
WON'T YOU
PLEASE?
............
BAH
I DON'T WANT MY BLOG
TO BE FILLED
WITH GRIPING
WITH MOANING
WITH BITCHING
BUT
I THINK IT'LL NEED TO BE
FOR A LITTLE WHILE
BEFORE
'THE LIGHT GETS IN'
I FEEL SUCH PRESSURE
TO ALWAYS POSITIVE
TO ALWAYS BE AN EXAMPLE
TO ALWAYS BE UP
BUT
I AM WHO I AM
I AM WHO I AM
I AM WHO I AM.

There She Goes...

APPARENTLY
I'M HIGH MAINTENANCE
FUCK U
AND
FUCK THAT
MAYBE
MORE MAINTENANCE
THAN U
OR
YOUR PREVIOUS FRIENDS
BUT
DEARIE
I THINK
WE'RE ALL HIGH MAINTENANCE
IF WE'RE HONEST
AND
AT LEAST
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
WHERE I'M CONCERNED
I'M NOT
COMPLICATED
JUST ASK AND LISTEN
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
WOULDN'T YOU LOVE
TO MAINTAIN
THIS

REAL DESIRE...

ALRIGHT
ALRIGHT
ALRIGHT
I'VE GOT A CONFESSION
A FEW
#1
I LIKE THINGS IN 3'S
HENCE
THE BEGINNING OF THIS BLOG
AND
almostaNNoNymous
Seee!
#2
I DESPERATELY WANT
TO BE GOOD
AT
FINANCES
AND
FUCKING
I'M ATTRACTED TO MONEY
TO LEARNING HOW TO DRAW IN MONEY
I WANT TO BE DEBT FREE
I WANT TO GIVE TO CHARITIES
I WANT TO TIP 100% OF THE BILL
I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT BUDGETING
AND
OTHER FANCY FRUGAL THINGS:
KNITTING
PRESERVING (JAMS, CHUTNEYS, ETC)
HOME COOKING
THE FUCKING
IS OBVIOUS
BUT
I FEEL LIKE
IT'S SOMETHING
ONLY WORTH DOING
IF IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD
REALLY GOOD
AND
WITH SOMEONE WHO IS TOTALLY
AS
SEXY
AND
CURIOUS
AS
ME
IT'S REALLYYYYYY
THE ONLY WAYYYYYY
HE MUST LOVE DOGS
TOO
AND
HAVE HIS OWN PLACE
BUT
THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT

#3
MISS ST. VILLIER AND I
ARE WRITING AN ELABORATE
ORAL ACCOUNT
OF MY FANCY SEX LIFESTYLE
BASICALLY
WE GET HIGH AND TALK ABOUT
ALL THE AWESOME SEX
I'M NOT HAVING
THE ULTIMATE SET UP
IS
IN
3'S
HERE ARE THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS ASIDE:
1 MUST BE BLACK
1 MUST BE GINGER
AND
1 MUST BE WOMAN
EMOTIONAL NEEDS:
MUST LOVE COOKING, DANCING
APPRECIATE SEX TOYS AND MULTIMEDIA
HAVE THEIR OWN PLACE
INTERESTING OCCUPATIONS

THAT'S IT
BUT
IF I DO SOME RITUAL
AND
CALL THIS INTO THE UNIVERSE
HOW FUCKING HAPPY WOULD I BE?
SERIOUSLY
BUT
THAT'S ONLY ONE PART
OF
LIVIN' THE DREAM
'THE ME EDITION'
OHHHHH
YES PLEASE

#4
I'M NOT FEELING TOTALLY 100% INTO 2009
HAVEN'T FELT AS HAPPY
AS BEFORE
USED TO WALK MORE, SMOKE MORE
EAT LESS, COMPLAIN LESS
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK INTO BALANCE

#5
I CAN'T STOP THINKING
ABOUT THIS DOCUMENTARY
I SAW
ABOUT
OBJECT SEXUALS OR SOMETHING
PEOPLE WHO FALL IN LOVE WITH
AND
FUCK
INANIMATE OBJECTS
.....
FENCES
BUILDINGS
THE BERLIN WALL
ANYTHING GOES!
THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY IN LOVE
AND
ARE VERY SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE
IN THEIR SEX LIFE WITH THESE THINGS
IT'S VERY SEXUAL IN FACT
THESE PEOPLE HAVE SOME HISTORIES OF
ABUSE
MENTAL ILLNESS
ETC
BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THEY ALL DO
BUT
BUT
HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENCE THAN
ME
AND
DIRTY HARRY
I CAN'T JUDGE!
I FUCK A MACHINE
HAHAHA
GRANTED
IT'S ON THE SPECTRUM
OF THE OBJECT SEXUALS
I COULD SLEEP WITH A PIC
OF MY HARRY
WHEN I WENT CAMPING OR SOMETHING
HAHAHA
AHHHHHHHH
FIND IT
POSTED ON MY FACEBOOK
TEST THE LIMITS OF YOUR UNDERSTANDINGGG

SPEAKING OF WHICH
HARRY AND I HAVE A DATE
I'VE BEEN NEGLECTING HIM
BECAUSE
MY EX GF, MARY JAYNE, HAS BEEN IN TOWN
AND
WHAT CAN I SAY?
IT'S BEEN AWHILE
WE'RE ACTING LIKE TEENAGERS
CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF EACH OTHER
; )

MOTHER MARY COMES TO ME...

OH
SIGH
I CAN FEEL
THE END COMING
THE BEGINNING COMING
I'M FRUSTRATED AND DISSATISFIED
YET THANKFUL AND OPTIMISTIC
BUT
SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE
AND
I KNOW THE GIVE
WILL BE GREAT
AND
THE GIVE WILL BE HAPPY
BUT
GODDAMN
LET IT COME
I DON'T WANT TO BE UNHAPPY
WITH MY LIFE
BUT
I CAN BE HONEST
AND
SAY
IT'S NOT THE LIFE I WANT FOR MYSELF
I WANT A HOME
I CAN BE PROUD AND HAPPY TO COME INTO
I WANT FINANCES
WHICH FLOURISH BECAUSE OF MY CREATIVE ACHIEVEMENTS
I WANT LOVE AND EXCITEMENT
IN MY FRIENDSHIPS AND SOCIAL LIFE
I WANT COMPANIONSHIP
WITH MYSELF AND, MAYBE, A LUCKY OTHER FEW
I WANT SEX
DEDICATED, EDUCATED AND SUBLIME
I WANT WORK PROJECTS
WHICH ADDS TO THE WORLD, CREATIVE ENERGY & MY OWN CONTENTEDNESS
I DON'T HAVE MANY OF THESE THINGS
DON'T GET ME WRONG
I HAVE MANY MANY MANY THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR
BUT
SOMETIMES
THE DREAM LIFE
SEEMS
NOT UNATTAINABLE
BUT
VERY DISTANT AND A SECRET LABYRINTH OF CONNECTIONS
IT'S ALL VERY WONDERFUL
.........
IT'S QUITE HARD TO FEEL SEXY
WHEN YOU'RE ILL
WELL
HARD
EVEN
TO FEEL SEXUAL
......
WHEW
JUST CHECKED MY MONTHLY HOROSCOPE
SEEMS I'M PRETTY MUCH
RIGHT ON TRACK
WWW.ASTROLOGYZONE.COM
CHECK IT OUT
I NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME
AND
TICKLE ME
HOROSCOPES
AND ALL THAT JAZZ
GOSH
I'M TOO TIRED
FOR ANYTHING EXCITING
BAH!
LET IT BE
LET IT BE
LET IT BE

ALL IS FULL OF...

THE
BEST
THINGS
IN
LIFE
ARE
FREE
.........
I'M WORKING ON
A NEW ATTITUDE
16 YEARS OF ALLOTTED
ASTROLOGICAL TIME
TO ADJUST
I AM A SCORPIO
CHRIS SAYS
SO IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE
THAT IT MAY TAKE 16 YEARS
; )
I'LL DEFINITELY COME OUT
EMERGE
AFTER THOSE 16 YEARS
WITH SOME PRETTY GOOD STORIES TO TELL
THAT IS THE MOTIVATION
DON'T JUDGE
DON'T ANTICIPATE
DON'T DOUBT
BECAUSE
PEOPLE WILL SURPRISE YOU
AND
IN MY EXPERIENCE
IT'S USUALLY GOOD
PEOPLE ARE GOOD
A HAPPY SURPRISE
A LAUGHING SURPRISE
A HUMBLING SURPRISE
.........
THE
BEST
THINGS
IN
LIFE
ARE
FREE FROM...
EARTHLY
EMOTIONAL
EDUCATED
ATTACHMENTS
THE BEING
THE ONENESS
OF
ALL THE THINGS
THAT POP INTO MY MIND
FAMILY
FRIENDS
NATURE
SEX
CREATION
LOVE
THEY ARE GREAT
IN THEIR MOMENTS OF FREEDOM
THEY ARE EVERYTHING
CUTTING THE STRINGS
THE EMOTIONAL TIES
THAT BIND YOU TO THE PAST
THE HURTS
THE WORRIES
THE FEARS
THAT HOLD YOU BACK
THAT HOLD YOU DOWN
THAT HOLD YOU STAGNANT
THEY ARE
OH
SO
NOT WORTH IT
NOT....
RUNNING DOWN THE STREET
WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED
AS YOUR LOVER HOLDS YOUR HAND
NOT....
BEING THE SHINING LIGHT YOU ARE
SHARING YOUR WHOLE SELF WITH ALL
WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT
NOT....
LOOKING INTO THE SKY
WITH TEARS OF JOY AND WARMTH BUBBLING
OVER THE BEAUTY AND MYSTERY OF IT ALL
ALL
BECAUSE
OF THESE PAST FEARS/HURTS/MISSTEPS
OUR MINDS
IN CAGES
LORDED OVER BY THE EGO
AND
IT'S MANY TACTICS
WE
ARE
AWAKENED
WE
ARE
AWAKENED
WE
ARE
AWAKENED
....

OH THAT WAS SO REAL...

OH JEFF BUCKLEY
WHAT SWEET WILD VISIONS
OF SWEAT FLINGING
OF ROARING FIRES
OF LOCKED EYES
OF GODDESS-NESS
YOU SO EASILY INDUCE
INSPIRE
PERCOLATE
GOODNESS GODDESS ME
HOW I'VE LET GO
OF THE SWEET RITUAL
THAT IS SEX
THE KIND THAT WOULD
REQUIRE THE TITLE
'MAKING LOVE'
HIS VOICE IS MAKING LOVE TO MY EARS
INTIMATE
PASSIONATE
VULNERABLE
SPONTANEOUS
MEDITATIVE
DYANMIC
SOUNDS OF A MAN
.......
I'M NOT CAUTIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE
AND
I'VE NOT BEEN HURT ENOUGH TO CHANGE
I COULD THROW MYSELF
INTO YOUR ARMS
AND LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND HONESTY
THEN LET YOU GO A FEW MONTHS LATER
WHY MUST PEOPLE FOCUS ON FOREVER?
AREN'T YOU UNDERESTIMATING YOUR NEEDS?
YOUR POSSIBILITIES FOR CHANGE?
IS IT SO RIDICULOUS TO ASSUME
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE JUST ONE?
THAT THERE COULD BE MANY DIFFERENT, LOVE RELATIONSHIPS
TO BE HAD
MONOGAMY IS ONE THING
FINE
IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP
I COULD POSSIBLY BE CONVINCED
BUT
LIFETIME MONOGAMY
THAT IS SOMETHING I'M NOT SO SURE OF
AND
IT'S NOT JUST ALL THE WONDERFUL SEXUAL OPPORTUNITIES
IT'S ALL THE DIFFERENT SIDES OF SELF
THAT CAN BE ACCESSED
THROUGH ALL THESE RELATIONSHIP REVELATIONS
THINKING THROUGH MY CHANGES IN
PERCEPTION
SELF AWARENESS
ATTITUDE
TASTE
IT CHANGES
AND
IF ONLY WE DIDN'T EMPHASIZE
THE BEGINNING OR THE ENDING OF A RELATIONSHIP
AS MUCH AS THE MIDDLE
THE TIMES WHEN YOU'RE JUST TOGETHER
THERE TOGETHER
THE PRESENT MOMENTS
OF SHARING SILENCE
OF SHARING EXPERIENCE
OF SHARING PERCEPTIONS
WHY WOULD YOU DENY YOURSELF?
WHY WOULD YOU DENY YOURSELF?
WHY WOULD YOU DENY YOURSELF?
I WANT TO ASK THIS QUESTION
TO MANY
TO UNDERSTAND
TO BELIEVE
TO KNOW
IS THERE SOME SACRIFICE
WE'VE ALL BEEN PASSING BY
DENYING
IGNORING
.....
DIFFERENT STROKES
FOR
DIFFERENT FOLKS
......
I'M SO IN LOVE WITH MY BODY LATELY
SURE I HAVE DAYS
BUT
I WANT TO SHOW IT OFF
I WANT TO TOUCH
AND KISS MYSELF
I WANT TO FEEL MY HAIR
I WANT TO RUB MY HANDS TOGETHER
I WANT TO MASSAGE MY JOINTS
IN THE BATHTUB LAST NIGHT
I TOOK TIME
TO KISS MY KNEES
AND
SHOULDERS
TO KNEAD MY SOLES
AND
CARESS MY STOMACH
MY BODY IS THERE FOR ME
EVERYDAY
RAIN OR SHINE
AND
THERE'S SOMETHING NICE
ABOUT SAYING 'THANK YOU'
TO THE VESSEL
WHICH CARRIES YOUR SOUL AND PASSION
AROUND THIS LOVELY PLACE
IT'S HARD FOR ME TO TOUCH MY TUMMY
IT'S SOFT AND NOT FLAT
AND
I'VE NEVER BEEN 100% AT PEACE WITH IT
KRITTY SAID TO ME AT XMAS:
GUYS LOVE A LITTLE TUMMY ROLL...IT'S LIKE A 3RD TIT!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I
OF COURSE
DIED LAUGHING
AND
RESOLVED TO LOVE MY TUMMY
AND
GIVE IT A LITTLE MORE LOVE
THAN IN THE PAST
KRITTY IS A CANCER
GOOD ONE FOR ME
ANDREW IS A CANCER
SOULMATE TO ME
.....
LILAC WINE
IT WILL SURELY BE A SIGN
OF THE ONE
LILACS
MY FAVOURITE FLOWER
FAVOURITE SCENT
ON THE WIND
BLOWING ACROSS MY BED
ON A PARTICULARLY SAD
ADOLESCENT AGED NIGHT
WHAT A BLESSING
WHAT A BLESSING
WHAT A BLESSING