They Say: It Fits

A Lil Rough Sketch
http://sharlenawood.com

SOOO EXCITED BY THIS COLLABORATION
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I'm so happy
Sharlena is sending me initial sketches
2nd versions
3rd version plans
Being a muse
Ahhh It's the life I was meant to lead
; )

I have one 'angry' thing to get off my chest

Beauchamp
You are a coward
You are not the man I thought you were
You are not the man you want to be
When I think about you I feel sad
For you
Living your life the way you are
In fear
In judgment
In monotony/monogamy

I suppose it's not fair to expect things
I know it's not 'fair' to expect things
But
When someone has so much promise
When someone has so much in their life pointing them in one direction
When someone has so much to offer themselves and the world
It's sooo
It's sooo
It's sooo
Disappointing
Annoying
Sad
When they don't live up to who they want to be
When they don't live up to who they aspire to be
When they don't live up to who they know they are meant to be

That's it

Good
Fucking
Riddance

My mother is here
My mother is ammmazing
My mother is perfect

What more can I say?

I am blessed!

It hasn't always been easy between us
It hasn't always been understanding between us
It hasn't always been free between us
But
I believe
Early on
We recognized each other as comrades
As soulmates
As friends
In this crazzzy journey of life
And I feel blessed
And I feel honoured
And I feel privileged
To be connected to her
To be known by her
To be loved by her

She is light

And if I could grow to be half the woman she is
Well
I'd be blessed
But
I appreciate and respect our mutual support relationship
We are comrades
I lay it on the line for her
And her respect for me and my opinions
Makes me love her all the more
Makes me want to be her all the more
Makes me want to love her all the more

I am blessed
In sooo many waysss
I don't even know where to begin

Blisssssssssed

Speechlesss

http://sharlenawood.com

This Is One Of The 1st Erotic Photos
I Sent Samurai

Subject:
This Little Sex Piggy...

Msg:
Rode Her Magic Wand
All The Way Home

He Said It Was The Best Homemade Erotic Photo He'd Ever Seen
Thank You Very Muuuch!

I'm looking forward to the holidays
Have the flat to myself for a month
GOD DAMN
I better have a lover or 2 to enjoy by then
Whyyy not

I'm looking forward to the time alone
Preparing for the new year
Preparing for a 'dramatic year'
Preparing my best self
Whyyy not

I'm looking forward to the morning of Xmas
When I wake up alone to a crisp bright morning
Toast myself with champers & a spliff
Maybe a 'Merry Xmas' wank to ring it all in
Whyyy not

Ode To Samurai

This Woman Is A Geniusss
http://sharlenawood.com
Beyyyond Love Her

Sent The Original Photo To Samurai
Subject:
It's Too Cold...

Msg:
To Be Too Naked
: x

So
Last time Samurai and I had a skype date
When were signing off
He said to me...Love You
OK

So
I have to admit
I didn't say 'Love You' back
And when we hung up
I was, like, woooah!
OK

So
Time passes and I think
Wait a goddamn minute
WHY DO WE MAKE
THAT PHRASE
THAT MOMENT
THAT EXPRESSION
So heavyyy
When it should be filled with love and light
OK

So
Last night he sent me a msg:

Happy Thanksgiving Future Lover
Thankful For You
-kiss

How could I NOT love this man?
How could I NOT tell this man?
How could I NOT let myself feel this love?
OK

I love this man!
I love this man!
I love this man!

And I told him so today
No big deal:
'I love you so much it's crazy' I said
It was so freeing
To have all this love without all the romance bullshit
The forever bullshit
The possession bullshit
Ohhh Samurai
You have changed my life

Short & Sexy & Sweet

I've always wanted to post erotic photos of myself on this blog
But as I wish to remain anonymous for now
(Or annonymous *hee hee hee*)
It's been a bit tricky
Sooo
VOILA!
I think I may have found my solution...ART!

SKETCHES!
PAINTINGS!
SCRIBBLES!

Artist: Sharlena Wood

I've done a lot of nude modeling over the years
This one is probably frrrom...2006
I've started sending erotic photos to this artist friend of mine
She's fabulousss with a capital FUCKING fabulous
http://sharlenawood.com
And I know she'll capture me in a flattering sexy and witty way

Sooo looking forward to sharing them with you
And meeting new artists who would be happy to do the same

Today was hard for me
Hard to stay in the light
Hard to stay positive
Hard to focus on the good

I have Alexander & Miss St Villier to keep me on track
I have many outlets
I have more blessings than I can count

But sometimes the dark side creeps in
over
through
And I need a release

It doesn't help that I haven't been able to masturbate
Since this whole Beauchamp business
It really rocked me
And I've found being the bigger person exhausting
rewarding
confusing

So tonight
Is my date night with me
And with that...

Good night!

Workin 9 - 5

Wow
Wow
Wow

In The Last 24 Hours
3
Yes
Yes
Yes
3 Virgos Have Come Into My Life
1 Brand New
2 Happy Surprises

When I Say 'Come Into My Life'
I Mean, Into My Life
And, Also, Back Into My Life
As 2 Are 'Old' Virgos...
They Have Entered My Reality
That's A Better Way Of Saying It

I See It
I Feel It
I Know It

Christopher Witecki Predicted
My Next Lover Would Be A Virgo

Now
Yes
I Have Samurai - Libra
I Had Beauchamp - Libra
But Neither One Is REALLY In My Life
Neither Is My Loverrr
Samurai Is Across The Ocean
Beauchamp Is Projecting Across That Same Ocean

Obviouslyyy
I'm Open To Whatever/Whoever/Whenever
But The Reading So Far Has Been Uncanny
And Sooo Valuable

I'm So Happyyy
Cause I've Heard & Read That Virgos Are Very Kinky
HALLELUJAH!
HALLELUJAH!
HALLELUJAHHH!

(I'm Related To Hallelujah Handel You Know
By Wayyy Of Scullery Maid
Go Fucking Figure
But It's Still In The Genes My Friendsss)

Anywhooo
Thrilled
Intrigued
Turned On

Shake-yyy Knees

Pic Is Not Me
Sorta Miss Big Tits
Not Reallyyy

Sent A Very Hot
If I Do Say So Myself
Photo Of Myself To Samurai

I Am Totally Naked
Standing On A Hotel Room Bed
(Weekend Getaway)
My Camera Is Aimed Into The Mirror
Capturing Sexy Naked Me
But Also Me As The Photographer
A Good Balance Of Energy

I Always Write A Little Poem
Sort Of
My Subject Line Starts The Poem
Then Usually Dot Dot Dot's
And With The Naughty Photo
The Rest Of The Poem

Now Sometimes It's Only A Few Words In Each
Other Times I Storm A Sexual Hurricane
The Racier The Photo
The Less I'll Put...Ususally

For This Photo It Read
To: Samurai
Subject: Hotel Rooms...
(Inside The Message
Above Mentioned Photo Attached)

Make Me Feel Naughtyyy
: x

Which They Do

To Which He Replied
Something Ridiculously Hot
Which I'd Love To Share
But Can't
Unless I Get His Permission
Before I've Finished This Entry

Gotta Show Respect Motha Fuckaaa

I've Asked Him In The Filthiest Way Possible
So I'm Sure He'll Say Yesss

But Bed Beckons
I'll Share Another Dayyy
Love & Light

Horny As Hell...What Else Is New?

Being Brief
Exhausted
Up Early To Get A Hand Up My Vagina
Ohhh
The Joys Of Being A Womaaannn

Weekend Away
Away From 'It All'
Away From The Day-To-Dayyy
Away From The Same

Fell A Little In Heart
With This Dude
At A Burlesque Show
His GF Had The Most Amazing Huge Natural Tits Everrr
She Wore Trousers, Suspenders And Pasties
He Wore Trousers, A Suit Jacket And Heart-Shaped, Black Sequin Nipple Tassles

I Wasss Swooning

He Was A Similar Type To Beauchamp
Not Remarkable, Esthetically
In Fact, Not 'Hot' At All
But With The Confidence, Openness & Dance Moves
That Turns That Whole Awkward Package Into A Delicious Treat
That Gets Me Goinggg
That Piques My Interest Like Nothing Else

I'd Rather Date/Fuck/Love
A Plain/Quirky Looking Guy With Sexy Swagger
Than A Sexy God With Nothing On The Brain
But Who Wouldn't?

I Also Hearted On The Husband Of The Fire Breather
He Was Covered In Tattoos & Piercings
He Kissed Me Right Next To My Mouth
His Full Lips Just Overlapping Mine
His Heavily Tattooed, Pierced, Burnt Wife Inches Away

This Is How I Imagine You
He Said
Receiving Kisses 90% Of The Day...

I Was Giggling Like A School Girl
Like A Horny Teenager
Like A Fake Virgin On Her Mormon Wedding Night
I Hoped She Would Like Me Too
I'd Love To Be Invited Into THAT Sex Circus

I, Too, Imagine Myself
Receiving Non-Stop Kisses All Day
I Waaant It
I Waaant It Bad
I Waaant It Now

The Time Is Drawing Nearer
My 2nd Chakra Is Bouncing
I Physically Feel It Pulsing
As Opposed To Only Sensing A Spiritual Intention
It's Sending My Sexiest Nastiest Rawest Sex Wishes Into The World
A Small Shudder
Between My Belly Button And My Mound
My Sex Chakra Sonar
It's Strong Willed
It's Precise
It's Urgent

So
Much
Fun
So
Much
Fucking
So
Much
Freakiness

Sssiiighhh

Exhale
Huge sigh of relief
The internet gods have smiled upon us
I am connected once again

Mmm It feels sooo good

What a difference a few hours make
What a difference a little play makes
What a difference a little love can bring

I am so blessed I don't even know where to begin

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

Wise Up

SssOooBbb
I am nothing without the interrrneeet

Not true
...
Half true
...
Some true
...

Needing this blog
My mental and spiritual sanctuary
To straighten my thoughts
To open my heart
To write sexy sexy sexy erotica
Something for everyone people!

Right now
My heart is saying:
BRAVO!
My head is saying:
Ouch
My soul is saying:
Soon

My ego howeverrr
She is a bit angry today
I'm still working to stay in the light
It's not easy when you're tired
I'm still working to stay the bigger person
It's not easy when you feel used
I'm still working to open wide
It's not easy when you're afraid

After a deep sleep
I'll be back again
Wide open and blazing my heart to the world
Today I need time to cuddle and hold myself
Today I need space
Today I need a little miracle

Picturing a 5 year old me
It's hard to be mean to her
We're all 5 year olds inside
That makes life easier

When Will My Reflection Show

How to describe today...
Joyous
Aggressive
Spaced-the-fuck-out

Phenomenal tarot reading with Alexander
I am well
I am loved
I am fine

I'm feeling like...
The calm before the storm
But I'm facing the storm
The world
The love
As a whole person now
Not complete
Just whole
Just grounded
Just loving

Most everyone around me
Is fucking love crazzzy
Like actually crazy
I feel like I'm meeting people from another planet
It makes me uncomfortable
It makes me curious
It makes me question myself

I don't know if I believe in love
That 'movie' love
Well I know it's around
But I don't know if it's for me
And I wonder if that makes a lonely life for me

Because I'm 'unattainable'
HE said it
Not me
'You had me, you have me' I said
But I'm unattainable because I don't want to settle
Settle
OR
Settle down

Maybe I'm starting to worry and wonder
Have a chosen a lonely life for myself?
Cause I thought I'd chosen a SEXY LOVE FILLED LIFE for myself

Here's my thing
I've loooved
I've poured my love into another
I've opened myself in every way
But I've never received that level back
I've never experienced the two way street
I've grown skeptical
Everyone I'm seeing around me
Who is 'in love'
That crazy singing opera in French while people are boarding planes
Is miserable
Is watching the love crumble around them
Is holding on for dear life

Are they holding on to an illusion?
Or do they just know something I don't?
Maybe the agony is just too sweet

I get it
I know it
I feel it

But...
I'm still not sold
I'm still not sure
I'm still not a believer

Wouldn't It Be Niiice

Wowww
This is my life

Beauchamp told me he was falling in love with me
Uh ohhh I thought
That night it was over

Feels over before it began
But it was intense and enveloping and expansive
Cause
That's my life

Beauchamp was a surprise
Not my type on the exterior
Though he was tall and healthy and has warm eyes
But he was lots of things I look for
In heart and mind and soul

Feeling a bit angry right now
But 4 on the 1 - 10 scale of angry
And a bit used
But that's the ego talking

Beauchamp has a lovely saying
Only sleep with people you want to be
Flattered
Stealing that

Feeling a bit silly
For not listening to my head
But when the heart says YES
I guess you should go for it

Beauchamp will be back
But I don't know if I'll let him in
Not in the same way
We shall see

Feeling happy now
Cause I've written this all down
Wondering what the next gentleman will be like
What he will taste and smell and sound like

Out with the old and in with the new
It's all happening so fast
But I wouldn't have it any other way

OooHhhHhh

Oh
The Agony
Of Love And Lust And Whatnot

I Feel Immune
Almost
I Feel It
But See It
For The Bigger Picture
I Don't Fret

Don't Fret My Love
You Will B Mine
I Know You Will
You Will Know It
Soon

Weeks From Now
I Will Look On This And Laugh

Everything Old Is New Again

VII Of Cupsss

Such A Big Radiant Full Moon
Hope You've Crossed Your 'T's'
And Fucked Your Wives

Get It Together
Before The Universe
MAKES You Get It Together

Happy Nooovember!

Gossshhh
I am so happy to be back
I heart this blog
Big timmme

I'll be brief
As it's late
And I'm drunk on fall air and friends and fantastic Sunday dinner

I see myself in London
In the changing of the city, the season and the peoples
I don't separate myself from that
I see it as a greater pattern of myself, my life and my perception
I adore London
I adore the city
I adore the dirty, chic, chaos of it all
And I embrace
I think that is why I have flourished and continue to flourish

There's a middle ground
Between letting yourself go and holding yourself back

There's a middle ground
Between the man of your dreams and the men which you deplore

There's a middle ground
Between knowing yourself and discovering yourself

It is a city of history
Of the greatest creative minds
Of fashion and food and sights and sex and fun and anger and acceptance and hatred
I felt/experienced/known all these sides
And I love this city all the more

It is a temperamental city
Arthritic and fabulous
Youthful and dangerous
Complicated and easy-peasy-lemon-squeezey

It is a macrocosm of your life
You hate the people? You must hate that in yourself
You hate the traffic? What peace do you lack
You hate the weather? What countless gifts/opportunities are you overlooking

Bring it all back to you
And be honest with yourself
You're the one you have to answer to
Don't pretend like it's the rest of us
Come back to us
When you've taken a minute
To get over yourself

Missing Beauchamp
But thankful for time apart
After a hot and heavy time
It's nice to reflect
And if you're him: repair
As I sent him off to NYC with a bruised&swollen lip, a cracked rip, several bite marks and a few hickeys
.........
What can I say?
I'm making up for lost time
The flood gates have opened
And he should count himself luckyyy
; )

Good night dear readers
Come back to me soon
It's sooo niiice to be baaack